Not Me Monday

It was not me who whilst showering on vacation realized that the small aerosol container she thought was the mini travel shaving cream she bought for the trip was actually hairspray only after spraying and rubbing repeatedly without it lathering! No, not me!


It was not me who forgot to get someone to feed the tadpoles (did I tell you we had tadpoles?) while we were on vacation.... was relieved to see said tadpoles still alive up on return home... except one was no longer a tadpole but a tail-less frog!  It was NOT my eldest son who the next morning asked if I had released the frog into the wild because it was no longer in its cute little tank on the kitchen counter.  No, it is not me who at this very minute has a tiny, likely dehydrated and dead, frog SOMEWHERE in her house.  No, not me!


It was not me who was insane enough to run errands in the rain this morning with 6 kids because it is actually easier to wrangle a curious toddler in 3 different stores and the van because car seats and carts have straps. No, not me!


I am definitely NOT painting and rearranging the entire upstairs of my house this week all because while I was bored on the car ride home from aforementioned vacation I rearranged the whole thing in my head... you know, just for fun.  And I am certainly not attempting this feat solely during the nap times and after the bed time of a certain busy little toddler who's staying with us for 2 months through Safe Families.  No, not me!

oh, wait... there was more

It was not me who forgot these two gems in my post yesterday...


It was not me who while at a missions committee picnic in the lakefront backyard of friends who earned the title of "worst mom ever" when a neighbor walked 2 year old Evie hand in hand over to us since she found her wandering onto their dock alone.  No, not me!

It was not my 6 year od (Owen) who had a blow-out at said picnic.  And not me who did not have an extra pair of shorts in the diaper bag.  So it was definitely not me who proceeded to dress my 6 year old in the short shorts of his 2 year old friend Eden and a knee-high nylon stocking of our host to replace his dirty KAFO sock causing said child to look like he was straight out of 1982.  No, not me!

No, Not Me

Just a few things that have NOT happened to ME lately....



It was not me who scraped our front bumper of the van on a parking block at the Y last week causing part of the underside to break apart.  No, not me!

I did not run over a scooter with the van this week pulling off half the front bumper which now secured a visit to the body shop.  No, no, not me.

_____


While talking with the very friendly anaesthesiologist at pre-op last week it was not me who hastily tried to smooth over what the doctor who was African American clearly misunderstood to be a racial faux-pas by Owen....  

Doctor, to Owen who is engrossed in the ipad:  I need to take a listen to your heart.

Owen doesn't move or seem to hear.

Me, with my mom voice:  Owen, let the doctor listen.

Owen looks up at the doctor, sees the stethoscope and says:  Oh, you have a black one!

What it sounded like is:  Oh, you're a black one [doctor]!

Doctor, looks taken aback and chuckles a bit:  Yes, I suppose I am.

Me, realizing the doctor misunderstood Owen, hurriedly explain:  He meant the stethoscope.  You have a black stethoscope.  The nurse we had earlier had a red one.   He's fascinated with stethoscopes.

Doctor, awkwardly:  I wish I had a red one.

I don't think he bought it.

awesome.

No, Not me!


____

It was not me who completely forgot about the above misunderstanding hilarity until today in speech therapy with Owen while working on the TH sound in "stethescope."  No, not me!

____


It was not me who while walking along side our house to rinse out our trash can literally said out loud upon noticing the discrepancy between the color of our grass and the neighbor's grass,  "Why is their grass so much greener than ours?" and immediately realized the simultaneous profoundness and ridiculousness of that statement.  No, not me!

______

It was not me who got "hit on" in the grocery store in the bread aisle Sunday night by some middle aged black guy.

[Yes, I said "black guy."  Maybe this is where Owen gets his racial sensitivities from!]

Totally creeped me out.  I bee-lined it to the check out and had an employee walk with me to the car.  Oh, yes I did.

Ew!

______

No, Not Evie!

Sweet

easy-going

obedient

stealthy.

Our sweet little 2 year old does not steel away with her brothers' Legos and her sister's treasures and hide them in the footstool in Mom and Dad's room.  No, Not Evie!

Our obedient little 2 year old was not caught red handed—literally elbow deep—in a box of cereal in the pantry on more than one occasion in 2013.  No, not sweet little Evie!

Our easy-going little 2 year old does not lose all composure and throw herself upon the floor if you tell her it is in fact NOT lunch time (or breakfast time or supper time) as she proposed it should be.  No, not Evie!

Evie is so obedient, she is definitely not recovering from a string of middle of the night adventures in which she climbs silently in to bed with Mom and Dad and proceeds to kick one of us in the face whilst choking the other with her hair until we wake up and remove her.  No, not Evie.

In response to said midnight adventures [and other escapades to be described below], it is not Evie who has been baby-gaited in her room after bed for the last week, no not Evie.

It was therefore not Evie for whom the gait apparently ceased to be a deterrent today when as I returned from therapy with Owen I was met with Evie and Zane announcing proudly they were "AWAKE!" from their naps.  It was not Evie, who while Daddy worked upstairs, managed to climb over said gait!  No, not Evie!    As Zane explained it proudly:  "Evie climbed over that white thing, Mom.  And she wasn't even scared!"  No, not Evie!

And lastly, it was most certainly not Evie who on now 2 occasions has pulled a kitchen stool as tall as she is around the counter to the corner of the kitchen, scaled said stool, climbed on the counter, opened the cupboard, got out the ipad, unplugged said ipad, closed cupboard, got down with said contraband and proceeded to play games on the couch all by herself at 5:30am.  No, not Evie!

Not Me Monday

The following was NOT my Facebook status Sunday, 11pm:   Evie fell asleep at 5:00 after a birthday party. Woke up at 10:00 wide awake. It is not me who is currently letting her 2 year old play the iPad "all by herself" at 11:00 pm! No, Not Me!  She thinks she is big stuff right now. back to bed soon enough. enjoying time alone with my baby girl.

It was not me who was surprised that her 2 year old knew how to navigate the ipad.  Even though said 2 year old watches her brothers play it plenty.


Evie keeps saying, "Self!  Self!"  She can't believe I'm letting her do this.  I am having so fun watching her and playing games with her.  She is actually pretty good!  what fun.

child magnet

not me...

the ipad

Not Me Monday

It was not me who caught her 18 month old drinking the remaining half of Owen's Miralax-spiked Pediasure two days in a row.  The second time while I was sitting at the table. No, not me!

___


It was not me who left the sprinkler running the entire time Eric was at a meeting at church... in the same spot, completely forgetting to move it, resulting in one tiny area of our yellow crunchy grass getting soaked and the rest left green [ahem] yellow with envy.  NO, not me!

Speaking of poop...

we were speaking of that weren't we?

no?

well, I just updated Owen's caringbridge on the latest on the bowel and bladder surgery front.

you can check it out here.

so in fact, I was speaking of it.

sort of

which reminded me I needed

to tell you a story...

____


This post is now alternately titled:

P is for Potter


P is for Park


P is for Poop


That's right the Poopy tri-fecta.



It seems I cannot escape ridiculous situations with poop.  Remember this and this and this and THIS?


_____

Tuesday was beautiful.

70+ and sunny

after therapy we headed for the park

Parkview Park

it was packed.

15 minutes into play

Zane runs over and says he has to potty!

I grab Evie and the stroller and we run

to the potty.

only to realize it has not been opened for the season yet.

Zane do you have to pee pee or poopy?

poopy.

okay, peeing in the bushes is out.

Zane, I'll have to put a diaper on you and you'll have to go in the diaper.

I'm seeing DANGER:  POTTY TRAINING SET BACK written all over this situation.

I pull down is pants

and poop rolls out

on the cement.

nice.

All the while I'm calling for Evie to stay by me

cuz in my haste I did not buckle her in the stroller.

not willing to go to the van for the clean underpants

I clean him up

using my last 3 wipes

and put a diaper on him.

back to play.



no, that is not the best part of this poopy story....


20 minutes later

I hear Owen

screaming

crying

freaking out

and a lady asks

is this your son?

yes.

I think he has poop up his back.

then I see him.

it's up his back alright

and on his hands

and on his face.

lovely.

I'm out of wipes  I say pleadingly

I just used my last 3 on my son

would you mind giving me some?

she reluctantly holds out a tiny sample pack with like 8 wipes in it.

Oh, you don't have many either.  sorry.  can I pay you for them?  I ask.

no, it's fine.  i have more.  this is just one of those free packs that comes with diapers.

Gee thanks

trying to calm down owen

and get him to stop

touching

anything

I try to get Evie in her stroller

and call for the other kids

should have practiced our

"Emergency Playground Exit Procedure" with them earlier!

(yes we have one for occasions such as this.)

The I-can't-spare-a square wipe lady does help me put Evie in the stroller.

I wipe Owen's face and hands as best I can

(using 2 of the 8 wipes)

and off we go

to the van.

did I mention the park was packed?

and it was super windy?

I had parked in the handicapped spot since it was just after therapy

and I didn't want him to have to walk from timbuctu in the parkinglot.

yep

the spot right by the sidewalk.

fabulous.

I assess Owen.

It is worse than previously thought.

I tell owen to stand and

NOT TOUCH ANYTHING

he's still

screaming

and freaking out

because there is a tiny bit sill on his finger.

Get all the kids in the van

and turn on

Little House on the Prairie audio book

too keep them from asking me

a thousand questions.

it works.

I look desperately at the contents of my van

looking for

something

anything

that could help in this situation.

No extra wipes.

but I did have a roll of toilet paper.

not sure why

glad though!

I confiscated the kids'  water bottles

from their parched mouths

to use the remaining water in the clean up.

sacrificed a baby blanket

to the cause.

Did I mention it was insanely windy?

I held onto that light weight plastic sleeve of now 6 wipes for dear life.

Contemplated just calling for help.

What I really needed was a hose.

I'll fast forward you through the details.

I was thankful he had on zippered leg pants so I could pull his KAFO out the leg hole poop free!

I used a large empty tupperware container

I had from taking cookies to therapists

to hold the pile of TP and wipes etc off the ground

and keep them from blowing away.

It can wash.

[I know none of you will want to eat my cookies again.]

but desperate times call for desperate measures.

So there he lay on the asphalt covered in poop.

I tried to shield him best I could with my body

and the stroller.

He did not seem bothered or embarrassed,

just freaked out.

Finally he was calming down.

We talked a little

even then

about why THIS

is exactly

why

we need to do surgery in April.

This cannot happen.

He had done his bowel program that morning

and yet?

At some point I gave up

and decided as long as any remaining stuck on poop

could be covered by a diaper until we got home

that was good enough.

threw away the pile of  ew.

used my last drops of hand sanitizer on our hands

buckled him in

and off we drove.

I still feel like I can smell it.

ew.

Not Me Monday

This morning school seemed to have more interruptions than usual.  I was amazed that we still seemed to have plenty of time before I needed to get lunch so Owen would be ready to go to preschool.  We leisurely finished up some lose ends and I decided to go ahead and start lunch early (10:45).   Just then I heard a knock on the door.

Who could that be?   

It was my friend Tammy there to pick up Owen for preschool!  

But that shouldn't be for another hour yet?  (11:45)  He hadn't had lunch.  I hadn't cathed him....   !!!!!!   

It was not me who forgot to set the clocks ahead in the living room and play room. (I did the rest of the house yesterday, but those were the two rooms we were in this morning.)

How did I forget Day Light Savings Time?

Oi!  It was not me who cathed Owen in record time, slapped together a sandwich for him, threw it in a tupperware with some apple slices, and shoved his cup of milk and book bag in his hands as he headed out the door to eat on the way!  

No, I would never be this ditsy. No, Not Me!

Fly on the Wall, No Not Me!

I'm giving Kate a little explanation of apostrophes before she reads a story that contains several.  

Me:  See, the two words squish together, then the apostrophe takes the place of one of the letters.

Kate, sounding struck with the harsh realities of this world:  Wow,  I guess even letters can be mean.

____


The kids are helping me make Christmas chocolate treats.  Even Owen and Zane are able to unwrap the Hershey Kisses this year.

Zane & Owen, each time they get to the chocolate exclaim:  Wook!  It hatched!

_____


Yesterday was apparently "Strangers Please Give Me Advice Day"...

I'm getting 1.0, 2.0, 4.0 and 5.0 out of the car to go into Joann while 3.0 is at therapy.  It's raining.  Evie has taken off her socks and thrown them somewhere in the van.  again.  So I make the executive decision that I'd rather not get soaking wet standing there looking for them and putting them on her and that her feet would probably not freeze off in the 20 seconds it would take to walk into the store.

Stopping me in the parking lot, Lady:  M'am, your baby doesn't have any socks on.

Me:  Yes.  Thank you.  I know.

Lady:  Well, it's cold outside.  She doesn't have any socks on.

Me, again:  Yes.  Thank you.  I know.

Cue, us hustling into the store now 15 seconds colder and wetter than we would have been otherwise.

___

Once in Joann we found our yardage and leather strapping for our Jesse Tree ornaments and a few other things we needed, pulled a number and waited in the long line at the cutting table.  Evie was beginning to get antsy so I handed her the flat wooden bear I found for Kate's surprise panda ornament.  Evie was thrilled with this and eventually started chewing on it.

Lady behind me in line:  M'am.  Your baby has that bear in her mouth.

Me, with a smile:  Oh, yes. I know.  It's okay.

Lady:  Well, it's wood.  She might get a splinter.

Me, reassuringly:  It's okay.  She'll be fine.

Lady, apparently not sure I understood her:  She could get a splinter... in her mouth.

Me:  Thank you.  I think she'll be okay.

____

After Joann we stop at they eyeglass store to get Liam a new prescription.  As he's getting fitted the novelty of being in a store full of glasses is wearing off for Zane.  And unbeknownst to me the urge to further examine the smoothness of every surface in the store (with his tongue) is getting the best of him.

Lady:  M'am.  Your son is licking the window ledge.

Me:  Thank you!  Zane,  no no!  That is yucky.  We don't lick windows.

minutes later as I'm digging in the diaper bag for Evie's bottle...

Lady who's helping Liam:  Oh, no!  Don't put that in your mouth, Sweetie!   He just had the handle of that mirror in his mouth. Do you know how many people have touched that?  It must be so dirty!

I don't think I'll tell her about the time he licked the toilet.
____


No, Not Me!

Perfectly Panda

The other day at Old Navy...

Let me rephrase that.

The other day at Old Navy

I tried to 

shop for

skinny 

skinnier 

okay, fine

post-baby#5 

clothes

with

all 5 of my small children

in tow.

yeah.

not my best 

plan.

well

Kate saw this sweatshirt

I put back one of the shirts for me

and got her the 

"best coat ever!"

She has still been wearing her 

too small 

one from last year

I probably should have gotten her a new one 

say

at the 

beginning of fall.

This one is big and

should fit next fall too.

She was so happy.

She's been wearing it 

non-stop ever since

even in the house.

____

Then 

(not learning my lesson)

a few days later

after therapy

in the rain 

nonetheless

I took all 5 

to Target with me.

And I found this

panda

hat and mitten set

while looking for a

much needed

winter hat for Evie.

Kate didn't even see it at first.

I probably could have steered them

away she'd be none the wiser.

Someone had given us a

hand-me-down coat for Kate this year.

As you can see it is 

panda black with a 

panda furry inner lining.

so when I saw the 

panda accessories

I 

could 

not

resist.

Couldn't even

stand to 

wait for 

Christmas.

I think she's officially 

ready for chilly weather!

___

The following did NOT happen to me on either of the above mentioned shopping adventures:

• Owen throwing a fit and hitting me repeatedly in the face as I'm checking out because I wouldn't buy him M&Ms.

• Zane and Owen laying on shelves saying "buy me!"  and hiding under racks of clothes.

• 3 women consecutively offering to help me out to the car.  (do I really look that pathetic?)

• Zane licking the sink in the restroom.

• Me, for the first time ever, per the excited requests of my MSC (many small children) using the "limousine" shopping cart that held, Kate, Owen, Zane and Evie.  And me trying to push it and actually turn.  Ha!

• Liam buying a lego set with his own money. Completely with change.

No, Not Me!

• You know it's bad when your best behaved kid is an 11 month old who missed her nap.

Not Me Monday

Halfway to Indianapolis it was not me who looked in the rearview mirror to see her precious 4.0 sucking on his bare feet. No, I did not forget to put shoes on Zane before heading off on a two day trip to the Children's Museum in Indianapolis causing me in desperation to search for a PayLess Shoe store on the GPS so I could leave 4 kids in the car while Zane and I quickly bought him new shoes just so I could avoid hauling 5 kids through Walmart for a new pair. Leaving the van running and having Liam sit in the front to lock and unlock the door has not become very very handy for things like droppoing Owen off at Turnstone or picking him up or in instances like the above when I do crazy things like forget one of my kid's shoes. No, not me! It was also not me who briefly contemplated just taking him to the museum shoeless for two days. Hey, the amish do it at Swiss Days. No, not me.

Not Me Monday

Monday whilst at the grocery store with versions 3.0, 4.0 & 5.0, it was not my beloved Zane who managed to eat 2 Rolo candies THROUGH the wrapper completely unbeknownst to me as I loaded my produce on the conveyor belt, causing the cashier to casually ask me if I planned on buying "that candy", of course referring to the half-eaten Rolo Potter version 4.0 had placed back on the rack. Nice. No, not me!

The Not Me Monday I almost can't type...

that's why it's Wednesday when I finally brought myself to post this...

No, Not Me!

On Monday I re-started potty training Zane.

He is sitting on the potty watching Thomas with the other kids. I am going about tidying the house. When I come back into the kitchen I see it....

[some background information: Zane loves to mouth things. He sticks practically everything in his mouth and licks it all over and chews it. He may still have some molars to come in, but at 2 1/2 I find it ridiculous.]

Yes. You know what's coming..

It was NOT ME who saw Zane

Licking.

LICKING.

the pee guard (the little plastic piece that slips on the front of the potty for little boys.)

yeah. G-R-O-S-S!!!!!!

I freak out and tell him how yucky that is and that it's naughty to lick the potty.

Fast Forward to the afternoon...

It was NOT ME who caught her beloved 4.0 licking the pee-guard a second time! Ahhh! What am I going to do with that kid!?!

___

and on a more normal "Jen Moment" level...

It was not me who was asked to sign a check at Turnstone today that I written and turned in 2 weeks ago—unsigned. No, Not Me!

It was not me who showed up 1/2 hour late to therapy because I totally had the Friday time in my head on a Wednesday—AGAIN. No, Not Me!

___

Oh, wait. One more potty story....

On Tuesday I put Zane in some training pants after he had sat on the potty all morning with no results. Thought I'd watch him closely and catch him in the act.

Well, he tells me he has to potty so we run to the potty chair in the kitchen and I pull down his pants only to discover a nice sized surprise already in his pants. So we proceed with putting it in the potty anyway and talking about how poopy goes in the potty.

Meanwhile I do not notice that what can only be described as a "chunk" of said poopy stuck to his bottom and had fallen off onto the kitchen floor.

Enter Evie. Yes, Evie, in her constant quest to investigate EVERYTHING and be RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the action had made her way over to our little poopy in the potty lesson.

It was then that I noticed the little "chunk" on the floor and quickly wiped it up just in the nick of time and proceeded to ask Zane to bend over so we can (ahem) wipe his bottom.

Cue Evie going for the potty chair itself. EEK!

It was NOT ME who as she tried valiently to pull her 7 month old daughter away from her poop-filled object of her desire and simulaneously wipe her 2 year old's bottom witnessed her son smash his poopy little bottom smack dab on the rosy cheek of his baby sister.

No, Not Me!

this is joy

Conversation with Owen today while we're cathing...

Owen: Dr. Boaz. He took da straw off my head!?

Me: Yep.

Owen, emphatically: And he didn't need my help?! [that's the reason I gave him for why I had to hold down his arms while Boaz twisted out the bolt. too cute.]

It's like he doesn't even remember what we went through since that. crazy!

____

I am so blessed. that's all I can say. From the prayers to the meals to the emails and calls from friends and family today. amazing. thank you. I've cried a lot of tears today. and had some good time with the Lord this evening while the kids played outside. It was a gorgeous night.

___

Owen's friend Lydia brought him a sweet card she made all by herself.

"Fank you Wydia!"

____

A few things I did NOT do today. No, not me! ...

- walk straight into the screen door for the second day in a row.

- get a call from urology that I forgot to send a urine culture last week for his upcoming urodynamics.

- look all over the house for Evie only to realize I had put her in bed 10 minutes earlier

- let Owen do anything and everything he wanted today, including drinking unlimited amounts of chocolate milk.

___

Something I actually DID do...

sit and enjoy watching Owen play on the playset with his brothers and sister. this is joy.

___

A friend reminded me today that when the lies creep in "you're not a good mom, you're an idiot, etc" that those are straight from the Enemy and to see them as such. Satan would like nothing more than for me to beat my own self up (saves him the trouble). Today I am resting on Christ's all sufficient grace and forgiveness and love for me.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I am not perfect, but Christ is!

Not Me Monday

I would not let my 2 year old play with his brother's legos while he's at school. No, not me.

____

I did not lose a stroller for the SECOND time in my life last week. No, not me! It was not me who 2 1/2 years ago when pregnant with Potter version 4.0 took my 3 small children and their little friend Drew to the park while waiting for a showing of our old house to wrap up and who upon loading up the aforementioned small children in the van after multiple exhausting potty breaks in a gross park bathroom proceeded to forget to load up the Owen's stroller also likely driving through the parking space leaving said stroller behind only realizing my error three days later when I needed said stroller again. No, Not Me!

Luckily this time I recovered the stroller I did not leave in the Turnstone parking lot on a Friday after therapy only to realize it the following Wednesday when it was time for therapy again thankfully locating it after racking my brain and a short phone call. It was not me who could hear the snickers and see the flicker in the receptionist and office workers' eyes upon my retrieval of said stroller. No, Not Me!

___

And lastly...

It was NOT ME who showed up at Turnstone Friday when there was no therapy scheduled. Oops! It was not me who realized this only upon checking in with the receptionist after waking up a sleeping baby to load her in the stroller and navigating 4 small children across the parking lot. No, I always consult my calendar so I don't get everybody up, dressed and ready, loaded up, drive across town and unload for no reason. No Not Me! I know exactly when therapy is scheduled and complain it is so frequent lately that it is cramping my style. So I would certainly NOT show up when I don't have to. No, not me! And IF I would do such a silly thing I certainly would not attempt to salvage the morning by taking my 4 small children to the mall for some lengthy playtime at the play place and some Thomas Table time in the mall bookstore and then proceed to treat them to pretzels AND cookies just before lunch just because I wanted to. I would never do something so indulgent and frivolous because I was bored and felt guilty for dragging them down there for no reason. No, not me.

Not Me Monday

This week I did NOT do the following...

30 minutes after posting on Owen's caringbridge about how he can wear only his swim trunks to swimming lessons (no swimmy diaper) because we do the cone enema and cath him right beforehand, it was not me who whilst waiting on the bleachers for Owen and Kate's lesson to start noticed a nice yellow puddle coming out of her darling son's swim trunks all over the step he was sitting on. No Not Me! I certainly did not forget to cath my 4 year old before swimming lessons. It's not like I do it EVERY SINGLE day at the same time or anything. Not easy to forget at all! So it was not me who frantically used his swim towel to discreetly clean up the mess before any of the other parents could notice. No, not me!

____

Tuesday I took Owen into the doctor, but probably should have taken him to the ER the night before. (I wrote about it here, second post down) Our day was crazy between getting Liam off to school, getting ready myself, finding child-care, deciding where to take Owen and getting Owen checked out... that by the time I picked version 4.0 up from my friend Kathy it was not me who was rather frazzled. So when Kathy, who so generously had taken my kids to McDonald's for lunch, handed me Zane's extra carseat, Kate's bookbag, Zane's coat and Zane's left over milk from lunch, it was not me who shoved all the aforementioned items in the back of the van and drove home and quickly forgot about doing so.

Fast forward to Saturday... It was not my wonderful husband and I who while on a date smelled something rather rank in the van. It was not our mini bus van that smelled exactly like a dirty diaper. So it was not me who crawled around all over the van searching for a rogue diaper (likely from an emergency blowout situation in the Turnstone parking lot on Friday) only to discover instead one very nasty plastic milk container stinkin' it up in the back of our mini van, whose scent somehow contaminated the coat and carseat it was sitting in. Nasty. Who leaves milk in the van for 5 days?! No, not me!

___

This morning while doing Owen's bowel program, it was not me who should have known her impending doom when she heard him say "it hurts a wittle" just as we were finishing up. Something must have gone terribly wrong as when I took out the cone water shot of his bottom all over my pant legs, feet, the bathroom rug and across the floor. Yuck. No, not me.

___

And finally...

The following did NOT happen to me this very morning:

I get up.

Remind myself to give Liam his antibiotic before he and Eric leave for the dentist.

[Liam has to take antibiotic an hour before any dental work or cleaning because of a heart condition he's had since birth.]

Help get MSC (many small children) cathed, dressed, diapered, fed breakfast, backpack ready, etc.

Throw Zane's sheets in the washer since Owen coughed enough to throw up a little of his breakfast on them. Ew!

I change Owen's shirt and start his bowel program.

Eric had an 8:00 appointment to fill some cavities [tsk tsk]

Liam had an 8:50 time for his cleaning which was a rescheduled appointment time since I totally forgot to even pick up the antibiotic before showing up for his original appointment time a few weeks ago. [Yeah, nice one.]

I'm excited. Eric can take Liam to the apt. and to school. No running for me!

[insert the above NOT ME which occurred during bowel program here.]

I'm sanitizing the bathroom as Eric and Liam get ready to leave around 7:40

Fast forward

8:20... Eric's dad calls and asks how things are going.

"Oh, great. We're just hanging out. just sent Eric and Liam to the denti..... [insert panic here].

Pretty sure I didn't make much sense as I got off the phone

while ripping Evie (who had just fallen asleep) out of her crib,

Hollering for Kate and the boys to come downstairs and get their shoes on.

"I don't have socks!"

"Forget the shoes! Just get in the van!"

I snatch the medicine from the fridge as I grab the van key and race out the door.

buckle everybody up.

realize 2 minutes later I have no way to measure said medicine –forgot the cup!

worried we will end up having to cancel AGAIN because it will only be 20 minutes before his apt by the time he takes it.

I pull into the parking lot and leave the car running so the kids can hear the CD. I figure the guys pouring cement nearby won't let anybody steal my van.

I run in and explain the situation at the front desk and start to bawl.

I feel just awful for doing this AGAIN!

Then they say, "But he's already done! You mean he didn't have his medicine?"

OOPS!

Eric told them he had had it. assuming I HAD in fact given it to him like a responsible mother.

Liam, enamored with Owen's Leapster that we let him take to entertain himself while waiting for Daddy, did not tell anyone otherwise.

While this is not a life and death situation. It is serious and I guess kind of could be. I could tell the dentist was not exactly pleased.

All the hygienists are telling me it's okay, that I have a lot on my plate.

Yeah, but you'd think I could remember one does of antibiotic twice a year! geesh!

They find a measure cup (since I did not think to bring one), we convert ml's to tsp. and I give Liam his dose.

Decide to take him to school myself since he is done and Eric was still getting "the drill."

I take him out to the van, only to realize his backpack is in Eric's van [yes, we have 2 mini vans! MSC, remember?!] So have to go back in and get his keys because I had only brought the van key in my haste.

Well. That's it. That was my morning.

No, NOT Me!

Not Me Monday

The events of the past week have left my mind rather scattered lately.

The lyrics of a song [I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp] I first heard 4 years ago seem rather accurate:

Scattered words and empty thoughts
seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
seems I don't know where to start

Grief is a funny thing. Well, actually it the opposite of funny. But it does make you do some funny things. So along those lines, here are a few things I did not do this week:

No Not Me. This morning I opened a Diet Coke (yes, in the morning.) Shortly after, I could not find it anywhere. I spent a significant amount of time looking for it to no avail. It was very troubling. I finally concluded either I imagined opening it or I must have finished it and just didn't remember... Until just now when Eric found it IN the kitchen cabinet beside Owen's medicine.

Friday, I did not put a pizza in for my kids and Kristin's boys and forget to set the timer, thus burning said pizza.

Saturday morning I did not throw in a load of laundry, but forget to start the washing machine until Sunday.

After therapy today as I was about to get out of the car carrying the mail, my purse, the diaper bag and a Diet Coke, I did not drop said beverage on my lap soaking everything I was carrying and myself. It certainly did not shoot directly under my glasses and into my left eye. So while the kids were whining to get out of the car and the baby was screaming, it was not me who sat completely frozen, unable to even open my eyes to see the mess I had created. Upon getting my composure and partial use of my right eye I got into the house where I immediately took off my dripping, sticky pants right there in the kitchen and went back into the (closed) garage to assess the damage and clean up my mess. It was not my sweet Owen who yells: "Mom, where are your pants? Where are your glasses? What are you doing up there?" from the back of the van. No, Not Me. Maybe I should quit Diet Coke.

Later I did not drop an entire container of carrots across the kitchen floor.

It was also not me who could not find her cell phone ringing anywhere.... it was in my pocket.

NO, not me.

Not Me Monday

Whilst making homemade baby wipes I did not accidentally drop the roll in a dirty pot in my overflowing kitchen sink. No, not me.

Liam's Night Out with Mom

Nights Out

One of the things we decided (at Claras) to start in earnest this year was "Nights Out".

I described Nights Out in a post on the Prayer of Hannah blog for my friend Leah back in February of 2008 here. (It's number 9 on the list.) It's basically something my parents did with us when we were kids. It was a schedule for the year where each kid got to go out once with mom, once with dad and once with both, to do something fun and spend special time together. Eric and I had done a few here or there with the kids but nothing consistent yet.

____

Anyhoo.

Liam was first up for January with Mom.

He chose to use his BookIt Pizza Hut coupon...

and go ice skating at the downtown outdoor rink.

Liam on dry ground (which was what he liked the best.)

I have to admit the ice skating idea actually took quite a bit of preliminary and clever poking and prodding from mom and dad before he thought it "might" be fun.

We weren't on the ice more than 2 minutes when the horn blew and it was time to make way for the zamboni machine. Great timing!

I just had to take a picture of what Eric aspired to be when he was 7 years old.

We waited it out and snared this cool gliding walker thing to help with his first skate.

It was cold. But really fun.

This photo documents the 4 seconds that I was not directly holding on to him.

For Liam, he was very brave.

He got right back up when he fell and didn't cry.

I convinced him to go around about 4 times.

Then we got hot chocolate.

When we left the parking lot it was Not Me who realized she was driving the wrong way on a 5-lane one-way street, made a non-chalant U-turn and quickly crossed 5 lanes to get ready for a quick left hand turn at the corner. And when her no-wiser-for-the-wear son heard another car honk at her let's say 'unconventional' driving maneuvers he said, "Hey, Mom, I guess it's time to clear the ice again. There's the horn." I did not calmly say with a grin, "Yep, I guess so." No, Not Me!